Category Archives: Relationships

The Secret To A Stable Family Foundation

Want to know the Secret to having a Stable Healthy Family? It takes more than Love!

In the healthiest of families, there are certain spiritual elements at work helping to create a functional environment of warmth, connection and joy. Obviously, love is the foundational principle of every family. But if love is the foundation and you don’t build any walls or put a roof on your house, you’ll be exposed to the elements and your family won’t be warm, safe and secure.

1 Corinthians 13 is known as the Love chapter, but it ends with this powerful truth: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.” Besides love, faith and hope are instrumental in bringing daily encouragement and perspective to your family.

The Spiritual Temperature Of Your Family: Faith

Faith is seen in a family that has rock-solid convictions. And while you cannot force your children to believe in God, you, as the parents, can demonstrate what real faith is.

Having faith in God does not mean you don’t battle doubts, experience stress or always behave perfectly. But if the parents set the tone in the family and show what faith in action looks like, you will see your children respond. This kind of faith is contagious and emboldening.

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”  —Hebrews 11:1

Radical faith is not doing crazy things, but actually staying sane and solid in Christ in a crazy world. If you maintain the spiritual temperature in your home at the setting of faith, your kids will be able to question out loud, expressing their doubts and feelings, and you as the parent will have the opportunity to open Scripture and talk about their concerns, showing your resilient faith in a God who never changes. There will be a growing confidence in your family as a result of growing faith.

The Anchor Of Your Family: Hope

Most family members know all about the anticipation of presents on key celebrations such as birthdays and Christmas. Everyone looks forward to that. But that same anticipation of God is a key element of hope.

When we are hopeful, we learn to anticipate God’s work in our family. Especially during trying seasons of stress, teenage turbulence or health scares, it’s important to maintain this attitude of hope. When your hope is in the Lord as a family unit, you will take turns encouraging each other through the trying times.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”  —1 Peter 1:3

Every family benefits from knowing their foundation is solid and lasting. Be hopeful always in the Lord. Have faith in God and your confidence as a family will grow. Love will be the foundation that stands the test of time.

You can build your family on these timeless truths and celebrate them daily as a family that will not fail.

 

Read more articles at Believe at Christian Mingle

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All The Single Ladies (& Single Men): You Don’t Have To Pretend!

Singlehood can be a time of self-discovery and adventure, but it can also be a time of aching loneliness and discouragement. Watching loving couples around you bask in their marital happiness, decorate their first Christmas tree together, have children and post all their glorious togetherness all over social media can be tough to take in.

It can be emotionally draining being single while yearning for that lasting connection where you are now someone’s better half. Your hopes and fears are all out there with every date you go on. Loved ones see you go into and out of relationships that did not last. And while well-intentioned married friends assure you that marriage has its challenges and lonely days too, you’d give anything to have those kind of two-become-one challenges.

So, all you single people, hear me when I say this: you don’t have to pretend to love this stage. As empowering as it is to travel solo, pamper yourself and learn to love your single self, singlehood is still often a painful, challenging season in life. When others don’t understand your loneliness and need for encouragement, there is One who does. Here is how God will journey with you through singlehood.

The Practical Pain Of Being Single

There are painful moments and scenes in singlehood: the plus-one wedding invitation you receive in a time where there is no plus-one in your life, the holiday dinners around the family table when everyone is paired up and you’re sitting next to the turkey, the baby christenings you attend where you ache to be starting a family of your own.

During these painful experiences, you don’t need to pretend there is no hurt or longing involved. The psalmist expressed all his pain and longing to God when people failed him or couldn’t understand his situation: “Pour out your heart to Him, for God is our refuge” (Psalm 62:8). You can pour out your heart to him as well and rely on God to not make light of your pain. He will see you through singlehood, in all its frustrations and challenges.

Your Need For Effective Encouragement

Singles are often told to learn to love themselves or even “date themselves”. But don’t forget the power of learning to comfort yourself as well (and I don’t mean hot fudge sundaes in bed or drinking binges). Real comfort comes when you can give yourself the comforting pep talk that others may have failed to give or did not know how to express.

King David would comfort and encourage himself with these words: “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God”(Ps 42:11).  It’s one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness and despair.

As an added measure of comfort, try surrounding yourself with the sounds of praise music in whatever style you appreciate most, whether it’s gospel, contemporary praise or classical hymns. These healing sounds of praise to God will ignite something in your soul, encouraging you onward. You’ll realize that you can praise Him in your singleness, and that there will be plenty to praise God for in the days ahead.

The Need For Forgiveness (For Others And Yourself)

Singlehood can be a season of learning to forgive. So often, people offer ill-timed advice and hurtful comments over your single status. Whether insensitively delivered or accusingly given, you’ll need to learn to forgive others over and over again when they don’t understand the challenges of singlehood that you’re facing.

……Read more at Christian Mingle Believe !! and leave your comments:

How are you getting through Singlehood?!

This Is My Story: The Power Of Your Testimony!

Many Christians have had the blessing of being raised in godly, loving homes with plenty of Sunday school and church meetings. Their lives can look nicely packaged and clean, while yours, as a new believer with a rough background, looks like you’ve come from a war zone. But never underestimate the power of your story, no matter how much you’ve had to overcome.

Your testimony is all about the tests you’ve gone through and the faithfulness of God to bring you through them. It’s not just about what you’ve had to overcome, but how God entered into your story. What God did for you, He will do for others. And it’s time to share your story.

Don’t Be Ashamed Of Your Past

No matter how painful or dysfunctional your past is, remember that all of us can say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” If you have pretty serious “offenses” in your past, they are not any better or worse than the sins and mistakes of anyone else’s past in the eyes of God.

The Bible tells us that we all have come short of the glory of God. But likewise, we all have received grace upon grace from Him. Lift up your eyes when you share your testimony of where you come from, knowing that God redeems every one of our lives from the pit. Never be ashamed of the power of God’s provision to take a painful past and give it a promising future. That’s your testimony and you’re sticking to it.

Don’t Share Every Detail

Be discreet with certain details of your story, as they would affect others involved in your past or as it might affect you in your future. This may seem like I’m negating what I shared in point #1. But there is a wisdom and a timing in sharing graphic and troubling scenes from your past.

Know that there’s a price to pay with your testimony once you go public. Are you ready to start talking about certain painful turning points in your life? How will your sharing of these stories affect any others who were part of your past? Is sharing specific details of your past even necessary? If you’re not comfortable getting into specifics, you can discreetly share things in whatever measure of candidness you feel is appropriate.

Look For Those Who Need Your Story

Of course, you are not ashamed of what God has done in your life. And we all have a testimony of sorts, because we all have a yesterday when we were not what we are today, because of the grace of God. But being willing to share your testimony also can involve being willing to get before certain segments of the population that specifically could benefit from your story of His intervention in your life.


Read more at Christian Mingle Believe and leave your comments here!

More Than Just Friends: Advice For Those Daring To Date

The two of you laugh at the same corny jokes. He brings you pink frosted donuts on Fridays because he knows your weakness for them. You’ve gone shopping with him to help him pick out a killer suit for his new interview. In fact, you’ve even given each other dating advice or a shoulder to cry on when past dates didn’t go so well.

You may have been friends for years, or recent acquaintances from your time together at church or at work. But now the question comes up: should we dare to date? Can we go from being friends to being in a relationship?

Daring to date someone that you’ve previously had a platonic relationship with is a tricky thing. There are some risks involved once you attempt to be more than friends, but it might just be that the Proverb was right: “There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.”

Here are three areas to evaluate in deciding if you should dare to date each other.

Does Your Friendship Contain Any Chemistry?

It isn’t necessary to feel overwhelming, instant attraction for someone in order to eventually fall in love with them. Sometimes, chemistry grows as the friendship grows, and suddenly there is a hint of the possibility of romance. It might just be that when he smiles, you now notice his eye crinkles. Or when she laughs, you suddenly hear the musical undertones.

If you’re now noticing this friend with a newfound appreciation and a bit of a flutter in your heart, it could be that your friendship is more than platonic. The question is, is this happening for him or her as well? It’s time to converse about this in a way that is subtle and gracious.

Has Emotional Intimacy Developed Between You Two?

Do you find yourself wanting to share more and more of yourself with this friend? It may not even be a conscious decision to open up more, but more of an ease that grows as you two text and talk openly about your lives. Feelings can ignite on one side or between the two of you.

Many friendships between men and women get complicated in this area. The challenge is discerning whether this emotional intimacy is reflective of a romantic connection that both of you are feeling. Often, one person can feel like this emotional connection means something lasting is happening, but the other person can simply just be a very extroverted and open person when it comes to sharing their feelings. So, don’t rush to conclusions yet.

It may be time to have a conversation about what feelings are being felt and what direction you both would like the friendship to go in. It also should include a type of “out” if one of you isn’t feeling the desire to become more than friends. And yes, that can be awkward. But it’s far more painful to spend months or years hoping that the other is secretly feeling more, and then later find out that you two were always going to be “just friends.”

How Would The Transition From Friendship To Dating Work?

True friendship involves honesty and a candidness where the two people can tell each other the truth of where they’re at, even if it includes fear, hesitation or vulnerability. Be sure to talk about what changes you should expect if you decide to start dating.

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Read more at Christian Mingle Believe

Wedding Dreams and Disasters- WATCH OUR LATEST VIDEO!!

What does your wedding say about you?? It’s one of the most momentous days in your life: your wedding. Everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect. But let’s be real: the truth is, your wedding day will be as perfect and flawless as you are. Sorry for the plain truth. But don’t lost hope. All those perfect and not-so-perfect moments rolled together can create a beautiful lasting memory of a very real day when a very real couple, with real imperfections and REAL LOVE, came together and said “I Do” to Love, To lasting Commitment, to the journey of a lifetime!

Whether you’ve already said “I Do” or you’re hoping for that special day to come, join in on the fun in our latest video as Abby shares her wedding fears and I share some funny stories of disastrous wedding moments. Because even with the not-so-perfect moments, this day is about way more than perfection. It’s about your incredible future together!

Here’s to Weddings, the Do’s and the Don’ts and the “Please, Oh NO!”s

 

 

 

What God Will & Won’t Do To Help You Find A Spouse!

You can pray earnestly and ask God for your needs and desires to be met, and that includes praying for a spouse. He wants to be involved in this life-changing experience of you finding a soul mate and living out a committed love in marriage.

But we need to have an understanding of what God will and won’t do for us. If you are waiting for God to do something in your life while He is waiting on you to take action, disappointment and disillusionment can needlessly occur.

God Won’t Choose For You

Joshua 24:15 says, “Choose you this day whom you will serve.” God won’t make us commit our lives to him. In the same way, God won’t choose our spouse for us. He wants us to choose our spouse and choose to love them dearly and daily. He will not do that for us. We have to choose our spouse in the very beginning, and then we have to choose them again and again on a daily basis. When our will is involved, our heart will be also.

Now, God in His providential will may lead us to a suitable spouse directly or indirectly, but we have to see this person as a gift with our own eyes and involve our will to make it our choice as well. We can’t over-spiritualize this. God has given us a sound mind to discern, perceive and make choices. God holds us accountable for our choices, and expects us to grow in maturity as we learn to make healthy decisions.

God Won’t Do The Searching For You

There is a joy in the search for and discovery of blessings. Proverbs 25:2 tells us, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.” We search for the things we earnestly desire.

Meanwhile, the Bible tells us that, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” To find something, you have to search for it. There is a joyous thrill in searching for your spouse and later having a beautiful story to tell of how you found one another, how you met and how God led you there.

God Will Counsel You

The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit will counsel us. Jesus said in John 10:10, “My sheep hear My voice.” This counsel is pivotal to our lives, helping confirm when we’ve made good choices and warning us when we are off track. We should look for confirmation that we are in His will and living our lives in harmony with Scriptural principles. This confirmation stabilizes our commitments and reassures us that God will be with us in all of the joys and challenges that lie ahead.

Learn to notice the promptings in your spirit to stay out of an unhealthy relationship, or to pause before committing, or to open your heart to the possibility of love. God’s counsel is earmarked by peace and a correlation to the Word of God. His counsel can also come through mature godly friends, a pastor or the caring relatives in your life. Learn to be sensitive to His counsel and you can be directed to a connection with someone that could wind up becoming your future spouse.

God Will Convict You When You’re Out of Alignment With Him

I had a conversation with a woman one day who was in a troubled, abusive relationship. Her family had tried to warn her of this man’s questionable character, but she didn’t listen to them. When I asked how she wound up with this man, she said, “I followed my heart. That’s why I married him. Don’t you follow your heart?”

“No, I don’t!” I said, with eyebrows raised in concern and compassion. I shared with her how the Bible tells us our hearts are deceptive (Jer. 17:9) and that only God can really sift through our motives and intentions and convict us when we are hell-bent on a bad thing for us. Conviction is a type of spiritual fire extinguisher. It’s an airlift when you’re on an island of deception and confusion. If you respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the counsel of God’s Word, you’ll stay in safe territory and be set free for a truly loving relationship.

God will lead us in paths of peace, but He won’t drop us onto them. We need to understand what He will and won’t do when we come to Him in prayer. Every answer from God is for our ultimate good.
Read more at https://www.christianmingle.com/believe/what-god-wont-do/#5tFudUbHBJsfGQbZ.99

 

STOP BEING INTIMIDATED!- Video

It’s been a while but…..   OUR LATEST VIDEO IS FINALLY OUT!!

So join in on the discussion about how to fight back against Intimidation. Because it’s subtle at first, but somewhere along the way, you lost your voice, you lost your confidence and it’s time to GET IT BACK!!