Tag Archives: Getting Married

Complaining About Your Marriage Might Just Save Someone Else’s

Marriage isn’t for cowards. It isn’t for idealists, either.

Perhaps one reason why marriages are failing at an alarming rate is that people idealize what marriage will be like. They marry and find themselves in a world mixed with joy and pain, commitment and contention. They look around and see other married couples smiling and holding hands, and they wonder what they are doing wrong.

What they don’t realize is that every married couple out there has gone through difficult times and struggled in some area of their marriage. They just haven’t heard anyone complaining about these tough times … yet.

The Truth About Happily Ever After

The prevailing fairy tale is that as soon as you find your prince, you live happily ever after. But the reality looks a little different when you’re married. You now have someone who is committed to you and who loves you enough to be amused and also annoyed by you at times, someone who will see you at your best and at your worst. Even though it isn’t always easy, your spouse is there with you through it all.

That’s the good news we need to share with each other. But we also need to share about our disagreements and hurts (without betraying our spouse in a complete tell-all).

I’m not suggesting we throw our mate under a bus and blurt out every embarrassing or sad detail of our marital disharmony. But a little healthy complaining about the realities of your marriage may just encourage your married friends who are comparing themselves to an impossibly perfect picture of what marriage should be.

The more we see and hear of friction and squabbles in the lives of other couples, the more we realize what a normal marriage is like. We won’t freak out when we’ve had a season of intense irritability with each other, a week of stormy silences or a day where we just could not stand to be in the same room with our spouse for one second longer.

We’ll start to accept the ebb and flow of marriage and relax into those tough times with an attitude of “this too shall pass.”

When we smilingly “complain” about our marriage and open up about the journey we’re on, we teach other couples these 3 key truths about Marriage: …

 

(READ the rest of my article at Believe )
*(Feel free to click on “Leave a Reply” at the beginning of this post and comment!)
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How to Know You’ve Found “The One”-Part 1

 One of the most pressing questions you’ll ever have to answer is the question “How will I know if this person is the One for me?”

For a few of us married folk, (mainly the men from what I hear) this question was answered easily and quickly. Others of us wrestled the deep question to the ground and grappled with it for weeks or months of soul searching. It’s too big of a question to just tap on the shoulder of Decision-making and get a direct answer within seconds. You’re talking about marrying someone here. You’re talking about the rest of your life!

For some of you, it has yet to be answered because you’re still single. Whether you’re dating someone right now or not dating at all, you’ve probably thought of this question in the back of your mind. Maybe you’ve had a friend come to you for advice because she is getting serious with someone but not sure she should be. Or maybe you’ve already had a broken engagement and you don’t want to go through that again. But you still have no idea of how you’ll know when you’ve met the Right One.

We don’t usually wind up having to answer the question of “Is this the One?” until we are in a relationship that is getting serious. It might need to be answered within a couple weeks, if the relationship is fast and furious, while other relationships take a couple years before the two people are discussing the possibility of marriage.

But you can get a head start on answering this question of whether you’ve found “the One” way before you even get into a relationship.

How is that possible, you ask? Step into my story to see what I mean.

TWO MEN AND A PACKAGE DELIVERY

My husband, Bill, and I grew up in the same town, went to the same high school, but had only had a handful of conversations before he came out to go to seminary which was located just down the street from my college….

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