Tag Archives: Decision Making

What Do You Have To Give Up For Love??

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Before I met my husband, I had an active dating life. Going out on dates was exciting and fun … until it wasn’t anymore! I found out there was an aspect of my personality that my dates couldn’t seem to deal with. Inevitably, as the guy would be driving me home at the end of the first or second date, he would turn to me and say, “You know, you think too much!”

When that would happen, I knew the relationship was over before it had begun. How my mind worked, my creative, overly analytical self, wasn’t something I could change. But I often wondered if I should in order to make that relationship work.

We all know we have to make compromises in a healthy relationship. There’s no such thing as instant and complete compatibility. But there’s a difference between healthy compromises that are necessary, and having to change fundamental aspects of your personality just to make a relationship work! So, what exactly do you have to give up for love??

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Compromise is about reaching an agreement by each person making a type of concession or adjustment. In other words, we don’t get to have our own way all the time – and that’s actually good for us and for our growth as Christians. Ephesians 4:2 reminds us: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” That’s good relationship advice.

The areas where we generally should compromise on are usually in the area of our need for always being in control or always being right. In learning to compromise in our dating relationships, we learn how to get out of our comfort zone and grow up. As the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.”

When It Doesn’t Work

But sometimes, compromise is not the right approach to take. There may come a point in your relationship where you both hit a wall of differences too great to overcome. Beyond differences even, it may have to do with who you are, at your very core.

Here are some important areas you should not compromise on:…

(…Read the rest of my article at Believe !!)

How to Know You’ve Found “The One”-Part 1

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 One of the most pressing questions you’ll ever have to answer is the question “How will I know if this person is the One for me?”

For a few of us married folk, (mainly the men from what I hear) this question was answered easily and quickly. Others of us wrestled the deep question to the ground and grappled with it for weeks or months of soul searching. It’s too big of a question to just tap on the shoulder of Decision-making and get a direct answer within seconds. You’re talking about marrying someone here. You’re talking about the rest of your life!

For some of you, it has yet to be answered because you’re still single. Whether you’re dating someone right now or not dating at all, you’ve probably thought of this question in the back of your mind. Maybe you’ve had a friend come to you for advice because she is getting serious with someone but not sure she should be. Or maybe you’ve already had a broken engagement and you don’t want to go through that again. But you still have no idea of how you’ll know when you’ve met the Right One.

We don’t usually wind up having to answer the question of “Is this the One?” until we are in a relationship that is getting serious. It might need to be answered within a couple weeks, if the relationship is fast and furious, while other relationships take a couple years before the two people are discussing the possibility of marriage.

But you can get a head start on answering this question of whether you’ve found “the One” way before you even get into a relationship.

How is that possible, you ask? Step into my story to see what I mean.

TWO MEN AND A PACKAGE DELIVERY

My husband, Bill, and I grew up in the same town, went to the same high school, but had only had a handful of conversations before he came out to go to seminary which was located just down the street from my college….

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